Week Eight: Accepting Gratitude

A few times at work last week I caught myself responding to Thank-Yous with "no worries" or "of course". I am not sure what made me catch myself and start noticing a pattern, but once I did I couldn't help but notice this wasn't a very grateful way to respond.

I have been trying so hard to be grateful and appreciative that I have been dismissing other people's gratitude! Accepting gratitude is not always easy because we assume that if we are being thanked for something that is just part of our jobs, that a thank you is unnecessary. But let me tell you, a thank you is never unnecessary.

And once I started thinking about how I responded to gratitude, it was as if the universe were thinking about it too. In one day I saw two articles/posts on LinkedIn about the response to a thank you. How synchronous (look it up, its a fabulous word)!

The first was an article called "Why You Shouldn't Say 'You're Welcome'". The second was a post by my friend and inspiration when it comes to inspiration, Stephen (you may remember him from this post) that said "Nothing quite feels better than those relationships where the only natural response to 'Thank you!' is, 'No, thank you!'". 

The first article talked about how you're welcome has become such a reflex response and how there are better responses that imply expected reciprocity and are about doing favours for one another. Well, Adam Grant, I respectfully disagree. I don't think gratitude is about reciprocity. I think too much of life is about reciprocity but I think gratitude is the opposite. Saying "Thank You" can be an admission that you needed help, or just simply an acknowledgement of another person's kindness, talent, or dedication. It is simple and it is pure, and I think saying "You're Welcome" is a fantastic response.

Which leads me to Stephen's post. I had an old office manager that I used to drive crazy by responding to her thank yous with "no, thank you". But Stephen put this in an entirely different light for me. While I would say it jokingly to my office manager, if there is one thing this reflection on my response to thank yous has taught me it is that I really want to thank the person for thanking me. Thank them for acknowledging me, thank them for appreciating me, and thank them for taking the time out of their day to realize that life is full of reasons and people to be thankful for!

While writing this post I realized that today someone said thank you and instead of the usual response, I answered "My Pleasure!" And it really was. I really was pleased to be able to help, and to be able to cause someone else to be grateful.

So my challenge to you this week is to think about how you respond to thank yous. I think you will find that thinking about your response will make you more grateful and make you notice more thank yous too.

Gratefully yours,

Jaime Ariella

Week 7: Unexpected Role Models

Those of you who know me, or read  my blog, will know that I love me a good TED talk. I love finding new TED talks that inspire me to do new things or give me new perspective on things I am already doing, or make me see things in a new light. I also like getting my daily inspiration on Instagram from Simon Sinek, and reading all of those "12 things happy people do differently" posts, but most of all I like finding inspiration and role models in the most surprising places.

A few months ago Ashton Kutcher accepted a teen choice award and surprised the world with the amazingly inspirational speech he gave. The video went viral the next few days because no one expected him to give amazing advice and perspective on  the things he had learned. In short, his words of wisdom were: opportunity looks a lot like hard work, the sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart thoughtful and generous, and build a life instead of living one. If you haven't watched the original video, watch it here.

Earlier this week Ashton was on Ellen talking about this speech and how it was an opportunity for him to be honest, and to help break through the propaganda so that kids want to grow wanting to do something and be someone instead of just wanting to be famous. I agree with Ashton that this new generation of entitlement is an unhealthy one, and that "working hard, and being generous and thoughtful and smart is a path to a better life".

Ashton could have gotten up there and said the same old crap that other actors do in acceptance speeches, but instead he chose to say something meaningful and powerful and for that I am thankful. I am thankful that there are people out there who understand what being a role model is and and appreciate what is really important. Check out Ellen's interview with Ashton:

Who is your favourite unexpected role model?

Gratefully yours,

Jaime Ariella

Week Six: Moustaches and Hashtags

 The month of November is full of advocacy and activism. Movember, Crohn's and Colitis awareness month, Diabetes awareness month, Holocaust Education week, just to name a few. These are all causes that have affected people near and dear to me, and for that I am happy to help spread the word.

Movember, which raises money and awareness for prostate and other mens cancers, while populating our city with some pretty hideously moustached men, has been a game changer in charity events and campaigns. While it isn't something I can participate in personally, it is something I am glad to support my friends in.

(at MoStock 2011)

One of my closest friends suffers from Crohns, I know many people living with Diabetes (not to mention the love of my life Tom Hanks), and as the grandchild of Holocaust Survivors I feel strongly about the importance of Holocaust Education Week, and I care a great deal about all of these causes.

And this year, my friend Stacey Beth is adding another campaign to the month of November. She is calling this one #GratitudeTweets! While pretty self explanatory, Stacey is going to use twitter for the month of  November to tell her friends and followers what she is grateful of, and asking you to join in!

So this month, whatever cause(s) you care about, get out there, spread the word, donate to life-saving research and education, and show off your mo. I, for one, am grateful for all these amazing charities and organizations, and their dedicated staff and volunteers, who make all these incredible awareness months and campaigns possible. This reminds me of one of my favourite quotes by Thomas Edison: "If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves". So lets all do what we are capable of, lets raise money and awareness, and change the face of diseases and illnesses. I am ready to be astounded!

Happy November!

Gratefully Yours,

Jaime Ariela

Fun PJs for the homeless

Last week I was fortunate enough to be able to attend a dinner focused on the concept of repairing the world, and more specifically on how we view and understand homelessness in our community. The panel of speakers was truly incredible, including an amazing speaker and author named Danny Siegal, the founder of a wonderful humanitarian aid organization called Ve'ahavta (and one of its outreach workers), and an unbelievably inspiring and strong homeless woman in her 30s. 

This amazing young woman told her story of being homeless, and how through it all, although she knew that this week she would be kicked out of the shelter she had been staying in since August, she truly believed that there was a higher being/power that was looking out for her, and that while she didn't know what she would do, she knew everything would be okay. 

While the speakers did not directly answer the question they posed of "Should you give change to a homeless person?", I couldn't help but think about it all week as I went about my life and encountered many people asking for money on the street. While I still don't have a hard and fast rule of who/when/how much I give, I can say that I am much more aware of the need in our community and our ability to help in whatever small way possible. Danny Siegal, the keynote speaker of the event, was talking about what shelters need, and one of the things he mentioned was fun pajamas for children in these shelters, and how even (and especially) homeless people deserve dignity and how little money it takes to provide dignity in the way of fun PJs. 

(Great quote from Oprah's Pinterest)

So what am I thankful for this week? I am thankful that I have a home, food, shelter, and clothes. I am thankful that I am even able to think about giving back. I am thankful for the reminder that I have so much to be thankful for, and that not everyone has much at all and yet are still able to be grateful and have faith. My challenge this week is to just think about giving. While we often have charities and causes we like to give to, it is always nice to learn about new ones and find ways that we give back. It doesn't have to be through money. It can be through time, and it can be through donations.

I am going to spend some time this weekend cleaning through my closet and donating clothes to a worthy cause. Who's with me?

Week Four: The Little Things

After a small hiatus, I am back with week 4! Just in time for Canadian Thanksgiving!

 My health of course and the health of my friends and family, of course, is always top priority. It is so easy to forget when things are going well, but really we have nothing if we don't have our health. I am thankful for my health and the health of all my friends and family that have theirs. For those who are less than 100%, I am thankful for modern medicine, for doctors and researchers who are constantly searching for the next advancement, treatment, medicine,and cure. While it would be easy to dwell on all the sad news one hears on a regular basis or the unfortunate things that happen in the lives of those I care about, I choose to take this week to give thanks for the little things.

Too often we take the little things for granted, but life is really made up mostly of the little things. As my friends know, I like to appoint myself unofficial (official) photographer when we go to events and on trips. But  why should it just be on special occasions? I think we should all be the unofficial photographers of our own lives, to capture the little things, the moments that make it all worth while.

      

Clockwise from top left, some of the little things I am thankful for include High School 

friends and birthdays, wine festivals in the gorgeous Niagara region with friends, 

my beautiful family, and smile cookies!

One last thing to think about and little thing I am thankful for is this video that my friend Laura sent me knowing how well it fit in with this blog! 

An Experiment in Gratitude- Soul Pancake

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? What are the little things in your life?

Gratefully yours,

Jaime Ariella

Week 3: Family and The Choices we Make

While I know this may seem obvious, I think family is something that is too often taken for granted and so I wanted to dedicate this week's post to my family, for whom I am so thankful. As I was thinking about my family and how to frame this blog post, I happened upon the theme of a conference, "The Choices we Make". Life is all about choices, but our family is not something we choose. Our relationships with our family, however, aren't chosen for us. 

A few weeks ago a conversation came up at the dinner table about family history and there were some stories told that many people around the table had never heard. That got us talking about how there is a lot of family history that we know very little about, and how between everyone we may be able to piece together a lot more, but without anyone from my grandparents generation left, there would inevitably be gaps that couldn't be filled. One thing I know about memories is that the more time that passes, the more fleeting these memories are, and how precious you realize they are when you can no longer remember/no longer have anyone to remember them. 

(some cousins at L&J's wedding weekend last fall)

Between that family dinner and the one the next night with the other side of the family (new marriages, new houses, new dogs, soon to be new babies), I made another resolution. Spend more time with family. Admittedly, I haven't been sticking to that resolution too well, but I really want to! And that is where you, my dear blog-readers come in to play! If I say this resolution aloud, for all of the internets to read, surely someone will hold me accountable to it. Please? 

So while I cannot choose my family, I can choose how important a part of my life they are, and the actions I take to maintain those relationships. My action item this week is to make more time for family! Also, Steinberg side of the family, if you are reading this, stay tuned! I've got a family tree up my sleeve! Can you say family reunion?!

What choices have you made recently that have been important to you? How do you maintain the relationships in your life that are important but not always easy to make time for?

Gratefully yours,

Jaime Ariella 

Week Two: Lollipop Moments

Firstly, a huge thank you to everyone who visited my blog, and left a note on facebook or in the comments section. You all mean the world to me!

Now, on to week two.

Recently, a colleague sent out a link to a TED video about everyday leadership, which provided me with an "aha moment". I encourage you to watch the video below (it's a short one I promise) to get a better understanding of the concept.

(Video via TED Talks)

In the talk, Drew Dudley talks about "lollipop moments". A lollipop moment is a moment when somebody said or did something that you feel made your life fundamentally better. He talks about how everyone at some point has either been responsible for or been the catalyst for a lollipop moment in someone else's life, whether or not that person has told them the impact it had on them. Dudley encourages us to make leadership about lollipop moments, about how many of them we create, acknowledge, pay forward, and say thank you for them. 

This message both inspired me and was eerily close to the subject of this week's thank you note. 

A few months ago I had a conversation with an acquaintance who happens to be in the business of inspiration, and this conversation was about trying to find out what inspires me. Through this conversation this individual challenged me to love my job. He said it seemed that I really liked what I was doing at work, but what would it mean to love what I was doing? In the months since then that question has really stuck with me, through challenges at work and ultimately helped me to make the decision to leave my job for a new one, one that I knew I could love. I sent him a note this week, as I started that new job, thanking him for that lollipop moment in my life. Without having seen this video, I already agreed with Drew Dudley on the importance of recognizing and showing gratitude for these extremely powerful and inspirational moments/catalysts in life. This acquaintance agreed with Dudley in his response, when he challenged me to pay it forward, informing me that it was now my responsibility to inspire others to believe that they too can want to, and actually can have a job that they love (or realize they love the job they already have).

So now I am passing on the challenge to you. Two challenges actually. One, to recognize and acknowledge lollipop moments in your own life; and two, to not settle for less than a job that stimulates, inspires, challenges, and brings joy to your life. 

What has been a lollipop moment in your life? Have you told that person? What would it mean to love your job? Looking forward to hearing about it!

Gratefully yours,

Jaime Ariella

Week One: New Years Resolutions and Fabulous Friends

Happy New Year!

You may be thinking "Jaime, it's September..." but this past week we celebrated the Jewish New Year, and I got to thinking that this was as good a time as any to make some resolutions. A few days after the holiday, I happened across a Thank You card kit in a book store, designed to inspire a year of gratitude. That is how my first official new years resolution of "show more gratitude" came to be. That resolution, combined with the Thank You note kit and my love of greeting cards, is where the idea for this blog came from.

I am the first to admit that I take a lot for granted, and sometimes how much I have versus how much others lack is astounding. I am not, however, writing this blog to make myself feel better or show myself how great I have it. On the contrary, I think a quote by John F. Kennedy sums up how I feel about gratitude.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest 

appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them" 

- John F. Kennedy

I want to push the limits of my gratitude. I want not only to be grateful for all the wonderful people and things in my life, but to show those people how much they mean to me and how grateful I am for them. Maybe then I will be able to pay forward my gratitude and use it to help others.

So this week, the inaugural Thank You week, I thought it only appropriate to thank my amazing friend Stacey Beth! 

Me and Stacey Beth on a recent visit to NYC

Stacey Beth is an amazing blogger (check out her blog here), which has inspired me to start a blog myself (something I always wanted to do but never quite knew how, I am still figuring it out). Stacey Beth is the smartest, kindest, most amazing person I know. Stacey challenges me to think outside the box, pushes back on ideas that I haven't fully thought through, is supportive and honest, and is always there for me. I can only hope to be half the friend Stacey Beth is to me. While friendship is definitely a theme worth further exploring in another blog post, this week is dedicated especially to you, Stacey Beth! 

Do you have a friend that inspires you? Have you made any new years (Jewish or calendar) resolutions this year? Lets chat in the comments section.

Gratefully yours,

Jaime Ariella